Keeping a Spouse Safe

Advice for Non-Martial Artists

This advice is not gender specific, at all.

In a marriage, one person usually feels responsible for keeping the other safe. Not always, but often.

And that person happens to be you….

In an emergency situation, where you have to deal with those who want to do harm, your main goal is to keep both of you safe. To me, this means that if you can both escape the situation, then do it.

Leave. Vamoose, Skedaddle!

This could entail jumping in the car and driving off, going into a building and locking the door, taking an elevator, running and hiding, and so on.

Escape now — immediately.

Make it ”Game over!” … you both avoid danger.

If you can’t immediately make both of you safe, then can you set it up,so your spouse can escape?

Will you serve as a distraction, while your loved one gets out of harm’s way?

I know you aren’t into self-defense (yet), but you have been chosen to be the more capable one. This might mean that you get hurt … which is worth it, if your significant other can get to safety.

So, let’s talk about that a minute:

The time to talk with your loved one about fleeing to a safe haven or going to get help is … NOW!

I’m actually not kidding.

Make sure your spouse knows “the plan.”

Talk about possibilities of where to go, how to run when you feel so afraid that you can’t move, etc.

It would be great if you could get in a little real practice, but I understand most people’s reluctance to role-play jumping in the car and driving off, or running into an “Employees Only” section of a store … hmmm …. maybe better not to actually “practice” going into a private area of someone else’s store. (Save it for a real emergency.)

Anyway, at least talk it through.

Have your plan A … and maybe even a plan B.

What do you do if something in your first course of action goes wrong?

No Specific Techniques

You can get specific self-defense recommendations other places on this site. No need to discuss moves here.


Because your goal, first and foremost, is to keep your spouse safe.

That’s it.

This could, and most times “should” translate to escape. That’s what you have to worry about. Period.

Look, I want to be safe, too, but if a choice has to be made, I’ll take steps to keep my lady safe … always. Her safety trumps all.

To that end, I can poke eyes and rip groins all day long, if my better half stays out of harm’s way.

Is this the mindset you’re going to adapt?

Next Steps:

If you want efficient ways accomplish the above, check out How to End the Fight with One Hit

And if you’re looking to help someone you care about to lead a safer, more confident life, then read Tiptoeing to Tranquility: The Parable for Finding Comfort and Safety in Dangerous Times.


You Are Super Vulnerable at Bus Stops … It’s Time to Do Something About It!

Apply these bus-stop safety tips to other areas of your life. Stay Safe …

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